The Hind End of Space

Okay, for those who don’t know, I came out at work on Friday.

Massachusetts has anti-discrimination laws for transgender employees that go into effect next month, and well, I wanted to get a head start.

Basically what happened was I had the head of store operations (Amy) dragged down to the store (I had to get her involved when I just wanted a temp name on my nametag, bluh, but she already knew). It went pretty well. She was… amazingly supportive and was very accommodating. But I know to always play it safe when I’m in a situation like this, so Arty and Roselawn Hayley came by to give me support. It went really well. It’s good to know I have the law AND a higherup on my side for things like this.

Today was my first day back after the meeting, and it went pretty well. Nothing bad happened, thankfully. In fact, this morning was the first time I put on makeup for work (thatwasn'tasocialexperiment) and… it just felt good. It felt good to come into work. Admitted I don’t exactly like the job that much (even though I’m now working in the easiest/best department), but I can now do it with a better, more confident demeanor.

It’s good to bring about change.

When people use the word “chromosome test” to try to “deny transgender people their gender”

A Guide to your MTF Cosplayer Friend

Okay, I kinda just came up with this on the fly. I complain about the lack of MTF representation… well, everywhere. I’m doing this to (hopefully) make it a little easier for us to cosplay. I’m speaking from experience mostly.

I’ve made it very clear that I hate the whole “trap” thing. Did I used to do that? Unfortunately yes. Do I regret it? Hell yes. As a stupid kid, I didn’t realize the implications of what I was doing. People are ignorant of trans* issues, and I’m sorry, but a bunch of guys cosplaying girl characters just to “fool people” aren’t helping. Why? Well, stupid people can’t tell who’s supposed to be trans* and who isn’t, especially those who don’t pass well. Don’t be a jackass and go up to someone who may or may not be crossplaying and say something like “oh you’re a guy?”. That’s fucking rude, especially when you’re wrong.

 Don’t suggest your transgirl friend to cosplay a crossdressing male/trap character. That’s uncool and it’s typecasting. Let’s combine this situation with the previous one, shall we? Your friend decided to be nice and she agreed to be, fuck if I know, Bridget for your Guilty Gear group. Someone goes up to your group and sees your friend and they say, “Oh, I love how your Bridget is actually a guy!”

Put yourself in her shoes. Can you imagine how that feels? I can tell you how. It’s like being punched in the face. It fucking hurts. Seriously, I have less troubles out in the “normal world” than I do at cons when it comes to passing.

Oh, and if your good-looking male cosplayer friend comes out to you as trans? Don’t tell them you don’t want them to be trans because you don’t want to lose a good-looking male cosplayer. I HAD THIS HAPPEN TO ME. TWICE. IT IS THE MOST UNCOOL. DO NOT DO IT. IT IS FUCKING RUDE. You should be more concerned with the shit they’ll have to put up with in an outside of the cosplay scene, not that you’re “losing a cosplayer”. 

And if someone misgenders your friend at the con and they’re too scared to correct the person? Find some way to correct the asshole. It can be subtle, just using a she or something. It works best when you’re like, “What are you talking about? She’s not a trap.” Make the person feel like they fucked up. Because they did.

I’m trying not to make this sound like an instruction manual or whatever. It shouldn’t have to be said, but well, it does. I’m doing this so other MTF cosplayers don’t feel so alienated. Remember, being a good ally can go a long way!

This is the shit I have to put up with.

There are some days where you just know something is gonna lead you to rage. 

A friend of mine on Facebook posted a picture of one of those trans*girls who always does porn and shit, can’t remember which one, saying “I don’t care if she’s TS or not, she’s hot”. 

Well, this never ends well. One asshole started using the whole “biology” argument. I gave him a simple “fuck you”. Then I get this message.

Sorry, bud, but you’re a man. You might think, act and dress like a woman, and that’s totally fine! I couldn’t give a shit less what you do. But scientifically speaking, until you have that operation, you’re a man.

What if I believe in my heart of hearts that I’m really a dolphin? Does that make me a dolphin? Can I perform the basic actions of a dolphin? And I don’t mean reproduction, plenty of men and women can’t reproduce and that by no means excludes them from their gender so let’s not get into that. But unless I have a surgery to totally reform my body into that of a dolphin… I’ll never be a dolphin. Right?

FUCK. EVERYTHING. I hate using stupid fucking words like “cis privilege” and “cissexism”, but well, I can’t go without using it here. This is fucking ridiculous. This is the shit I put up with. This is why I have no self-confidence. This is why I hate myself.

Yeah, it’s just one shitstain, but well… words hurt.

mtf-roxy:

I’m gonna try cycling my hormones and seeing what kind of results they yield. What I’m on 6mg of estradiol (but no antiandrogens grumble), which is three pills, so I’m going to see if I get better results by taking two pills in the morning and one at night one day, then the next one in the morning and two at night.

This is one of those (many) times where I’m SERIOUSLY jellies of the transguys, being able to just take like one injection every two weeks. seriously guys. jellies.

I am a transwoman. I am not a “trap”. Not a “tranny”. I go by female pronouns, hence the “woman” part (as some people still seem to have a hard time understanding). What’s between my legs? None of your goddamn business, that’s what. Do I act assertive sometimes? Do I have “masculine interests”? Yes, and I’m sure you know plenty of ~*normal girls*~ who do. Just because I don’t fit into your caricature of the transwoman doesn’t negate my status as one. So just remember this. I don’t exist for your amusement. I exist for myself, and nobody else. My goal is to make myself happy.

Trap rant part deux

Okay, so I saw a few reblogs of that post I made last night saying, “WELL YOU SEE, TRAP REFERS A GUY (EMPHASIS ON GUY) THAT PASSES REALLY WELL AS A GIRL”. Okay. I get that.

But it doesn’t make it any less offensive.

Here’s the thing. People are dumb. Most people are ignorant towards trans* issues. Usually, it’s a knee-jerk reaction when “that hot girl has a penis” to say OMG IT’S A TRAP. 

Also, regardless of how YOU use the word, it’s still offensive to plenty of other people. I really hate to use this word, but it’s a great example of cisprivilege. Just because you don’t find it offensive doesn’t mean it’s not offensive to the people on the other end. If you want to crossdress or whatever, that’s totally fine, but please, PLEASE stop using the word. It’s not cool.

One thing I, as a transwoman, hate hearing.

As a transwoman I hear all sorts of stupid shit. But there’s one thing I hear from ciswomen that annoys me to no end, because it’s generally thought of as a compliment.

“You’re SO LUCKY you don’t get periods!”

Well, no, and here’s why.

Are periods painful? I guess so. But here’s the thing–when a girl has her first period, she’s usually being referred to as “becoming a woman”. HMMMM.

Do you need to have periods/a uterus to be viewed as a woman? Absolutely not. But you have to consider this: It’s kind of a dick move to be a rich douchebag complaining to a person of lower economic status about the payments you’re making in your yacht or second home.

Yeah, okay, we get it, we don’t have to go through bloody privates each month, but I’d be lying if that would’ve be preferable to some of the shit we have to deal with.

Why you shouldn’t use the word “trap”.

This is an article from a magazine called “Fucking Trans Women”. It was pointed out to me by a friend of mine, mostly for this article. I LOVE this one because it’s essentially what I wanted to say, just a little less angry.

I’d be lying if I said I never used the word myself, or the word “tranny”. But as I, y'know, matured, I learned how hurtful those words are and stopped using them to describe even myself. We don’t use them, and neither should you. 

(Source: fuckingtranswomen.com)

tw: transphobia and cissexism

I just saw someone on tumblr describe transpeople as being “selfish as fuck”.

Oh dear.

Let me just say that this… this pisses me off to no end, because I’ve heard this several times in my life.

So let me get this straight. I’m selfish because my identity doesn’t quite match the body I was born in and would like to be treated with an ounce of respect and maybe an iota of dignity?

I actually lost a few friends because they “didn’t see it”. Well guess what? Fuck ‘em. If something like that is “ending friendship-worthy” then y'know what? They’re not your friends, and you’re better off without them.

I’m sorry that who I am doesn’t mesh with how you see me or how you THINK I should be. Ultimately, who or what you are matters to only one person: you. There’s nothing wrong with being yourself, and that goes to everyone, not just transpeople. 

Here’s a fun fucking fact. I’m the only MAAB on my mom’s side of the family that’s blood-related to my grandfather. That’s right, my mom has no brothers and I have no male cousins on that side of the family. When I was born my grandparents couldn’t be happier. Of course they don’t know, but that’s besides the point. I’m NOT sorry that who I turned out to me ended up being different from how I started. It’s who I am and I can’t change that. But YOU have a choice in whether or not you want to accept that fact. 

Angry rant over.