The Hind End of Space

I want to be clear RE: Cis people and dfab trans people talking about liking girl dick

baeddelbitch:

Being attracted to trans women, especially trans girls who have penises and even like our penises and want to keep them, etc etc, that’s not bad. That’s not bad at all, in fact that’s great.

The problem arises in how we’re objectified past the point of sex object, into broken sex object, abstract shameful fetish.

It isn’t just sexualization, it’s ultrasexualized desexualization as well. There’s a fucking disorder in the dsm designed to pathologize normal female sexuality for trans women and trans women only as some kind of hypersexed illness that causes us to be trans for fuck’s sake (autogynephilia).

Nothing you do happens in a vacuum. This ultrasexualized desexualization and the objectification and fetishization of trans girls, all of these things arise from a transmisogynist society and color every single interaction you have with us. Including your attractions.

Few people are a stranger to me talking about how transmisogyny influences attraction to trans women as that pertains to seeing us as revolting and ugly (yet still hypersexual and deserving zero boundaries, i.e. unrapeable, unabuseable, boundaryless fetishes to hurt and use and throw away like garbage). But it affects healthier sexual interactions with us too.

The elements of fetishization and hyperobjectification of trans girls means that cis people and dfab trans people expressing their healthier types of attraction to us often comes with really fucked up wording and really objectifying and even sexually violent microaggressions.

“Best of both words” is one of the best examples of subtle but intense objectification, fetishizing and degendering attacks on our humanity by people who nevertheless still have a healthier sexual interaction with us than those responding directly to the desexualization element of transmisogyny. They think it’s a compliment we’d like. They think it’s beneficial.

It’s still damaging though.

When cis people and dfab trans people talk about liking us and they use phrases that are subtly fetishizing or degendering or objectifying, they’re amplifying the harm done by these things because transmisogyny is a massive amplification lens for sexual objectification

So if you’re cis or dfab and you say, “I fucking love girl dick, girl cock is the best cock” you might think you’re being great, that your expression of attraction for trans women is helpful and combats transmisogyny and is a lovely complement to make us feel good. That might even be true for some trans women (really though, we’re so hated we often take anything, including sexual abuse from chasers, so think about how far that goes).

But the way you’ve phrased it? It’s objectifying normally, to talk about a group of folk based entirely on their genitalia (plus not all of us have penises oop). And it is unbelievably objectifying to trans women because of the fact that you are not speaking in a vacuum, you’re speaking in a transmisogynist society where chasers and fetishization and hatred of us reign.

You might be wondering, “well fuck, how do I even give compliments then?”

Well you might have to actually step a little carefully when complimenting us. You might have to think first. You might have to be mindful of the transmisogynist environment you were raised in, that we were raised in and that we’re all swimming in right now.

You might have to think before you talk so that you can actually have healthy and mutually beneficial relationships with us, instead of doing harm.

And I don’t think that’s too much to ask

Btw, trans women can say things like “girl cock is the best cock” because we don’t have the social power to objectify ourselves

(Source: punlich)

vicoactus:

theendeye:

vicoactus:

beefbludd:

vicoactus:

I’m at a point of frustration with ‘transgirl’ and ‘transwoman’ (without the space in between). I consider it a microaggression when anyone uses those terms (and they aren’t describing themselves).

also trans* woman

Someone came up with the best explanation for why ‘trans* woman’ sucks: ‘trans*’ includes exactly the same people as ‘trans’ does, just with more emphasis on certain kinds of people (non-binary folk). So when you say ‘trans* woman’, you’re saying “I’m only talking about trans women with half of my mouth; the other half is talking about FAAB genderqueers.”

#also saying ‘faab genderqueer’ is redundant because only faab people are allowed to be genderqueer

Why are only faab people allowed to be genderqueer?

This is part of it.

Also, to quote from Maria’s blog from Imogen Binnie’s book “Nevada”, which you should read right now if you have not already,

“…if you are a total baby panda at Internet communities asking, like, How do I get hormones, Internet trans women are very nice: they will tell you. But when you ask a more complicated question, like say, how do you resolve a genderqueer identity with a female identity when it seems like acknowledging the restraints of female identity and then bursting them doesn’t make you no longer female, just empowered, and therefore is genderqueer a privileged identity that’s mostly available to female-assigned people with punk rock haircuts, in college, everybody gets all butt-hurt and you get in trouble.” (p. 62) 

The most important part of that quote: “is genderqueer a privileged identity that’s mostly available to female-assigned people with punk rock haircuts, in college”, and the answer is “yes”.

It’s about access and cultural definition. Keep your eyes peeled for how ‘genderqueer’ is used in the abstract. The most important part of my post I blogged at the top of this post is the first line: “Stop using ‘genderqueer’ to mean ‘DFAB’ and only including it in lists like ‘transmasculine, genderqueer, boi’.”

That is how it is used by almost every faab queer/trans person I see using it: as synonymous with androgynous, which is in turn used in a way that is synonymous with “faab masculinity”.

feministpixie:

“Oh, so because I’m straight I’m not allowed to have an opinion on [insert LGBT issue here]”

Listen. 

I’m an english major. I know next to nothing about science, engineering, and astronomy. Sure, I think space is cool. I’m very supportive of NASA’s efforts. I might even have an opinion on where we should send the next shuttle or how much money we should spend on space travel. 

But at the end of the day, my opinion on the matter is not valuable. I’m not going to enter into a discussion about the next shuttle launch with a bunch of trained scientists and expect them to take me seriously. 

Sometimes, your opinion is not valuable. Sometimes, you aren’t qualified to enter a discussion.

And, lets be honest, straight people’s opinions are valued in literally every other situation. Hell, straight people get more awards for lgbt “activism" than queer people themselves.

If you really can’t accept that sometimes your voice isn’t the most important in the room, you might need to get over yourself. 

Nobody listens to trans women; a ‘dialogue’ on 'community’

vicoactus:

So I realized that most controversies that I’ve seen in the past year or so which involve trans women and queer/trans folk who aren’t trans women follow the exact same script.

Trans Woman: “You are hurting us trans women. You did a thing and it hurt me/us.“

Other Person: “No I did NOT.”

Trans Woman: “Actually yes; here is the thing you did [proof]. Here is how it hurt me/us [explanation].“

Other Person: “Why would you say that I hurt you? We’re in the same community!”

Trans Woman: “Look, the point I’m trying to make is that you only PRETEND that we’re in the same community and don’t ACT like it. You almost always treat us like total outsiders. Then you turn around to everyone else and go, ‘We’re totally supportive of trans women! Go team! Girl stuff!’, but the whole time, you treat us as some combination of a Kleenex and a ghost. If this weren’t the case, how would you explain such phenomena as trans men having more of a say than trans women in debates around women’s space?“

Other Person: “You’re being divisive.”

Trans Woman: “Are you even listening to me, or are you cycling through the eight pre-programmed sentences you can say to trans women, all of which are in some way dismissive? Sorry, I already know the answer to that question. It’s patently ridiculous to accuse me of being divisive when what I’m trying to hammer down here is how you don’t treat us like we’re real people who actually exist. When we have feelings or thoughts, you’re always like, “holy shit, IT TALKS?!?!“, and is that really what community looks like to you?”

Other Person: “If you want to keep on talking with me, it’s going to need to be in private, possibly in person, because you’re embarrassing me in front of my friends and making me look bad when all I did was something wrong. I would also be open that you-not-existing thing you suggested. See? Compromise!“

Trans Woman: “I did this publicly because it’s not just about me and you, it’s about how most queer and trans folks treat most trans women. This was always already a public issue.”

Other People: “I’m going to focus exclusively on this [minor flaw or mistake or odd joke] that the trans woman made and use it as an excuse to treat everything she’s ever said as ridiculous blather.“ 

Other Person: [suddenly deletes everything incriminating they said that caused this conversation in the first place and, if possible, blocks the trans woman, thus avoiding accountability and ensuring that this entire dialogue can happen between two other people a few days later]

(Source: vicoactive-blog)