You all know you would read it too.
"YOU CALL THESE PICTURES? THEY’RE ALL GLAMOUR SHOTS OF SOME OVERMUSCLED EGYPTIAN FASHION MODEL! WHO CARES IF HE’S ACTUALLY ENGLISH? I NEED REAL PICTURES! PICTURES…OF SPIDERMAN!
…AND I’M TAKING ALL THOSE POLAROIDS YOU SMASHED OUT OF YOUR NEXT PAYCHECK!”