Nobody listens to trans women; a ‘dialogue’ on 'community’
So I realized that most controversies that I’ve seen in the past year or so which involve trans women and queer/trans folk who aren’t trans women follow the exact same script.
Trans Woman: “You are hurting us trans women. You did a thing and it hurt me/us.“
Other Person: “No I did NOT.”
Trans Woman: “Actually yes; here is the thing you did [proof]. Here is how it hurt me/us [explanation].“
Other Person: “Why would you say that I hurt you? We’re in the same community!”
Trans Woman: “Look, the point I’m trying to make is that you only PRETEND that we’re in the same community and don’t ACT like it. You almost always treat us like total outsiders. Then you turn around to everyone else and go, ‘We’re totally supportive of trans women! Go team! Girl stuff!’, but the whole time, you treat us as some combination of a Kleenex and a ghost. If this weren’t the case, how would you explain such phenomena as trans men having more of a say than trans women in debates around women’s space?“
Other Person: “You’re being divisive.”
Trans Woman: “Are you even listening to me, or are you cycling through the eight pre-programmed sentences you can say to trans women, all of which are in some way dismissive? Sorry, I already know the answer to that question. It’s patently ridiculous to accuse me of being divisive when what I’m trying to hammer down here is how you don’t treat us like we’re real people who actually exist. When we have feelings or thoughts, you’re always like, “holy shit, IT TALKS?!?!“, and is that really what community looks like to you?”
Other Person: “If you want to keep on talking with me, it’s going to need to be in private, possibly in person, because you’re embarrassing me in front of my friends and making me look bad when all I did was something wrong. I would also be open that you-not-existing thing you suggested. See? Compromise!“
Trans Woman: “I did this publicly because it’s not just about me and you, it’s about how most queer and trans folks treat most trans women. This was always already a public issue.”
Other People: “I’m going to focus exclusively on this [minor flaw or mistake or odd joke] that the trans woman made and use it as an excuse to treat everything she’s ever said as ridiculous blather.“Other Person: [suddenly deletes everything incriminating they said that caused this conversation in the first place and, if possible, blocks the trans woman, thus avoiding accountability and ensuring that this entire dialogue can happen between two other people a few days later]
(Source: vicoactive-blog)
