“OMFG YOU GUYS IM LITERALLY PINKIE PIE YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND” I post online.

Most people read the statement as run of the mill LOLSORANDOM nonsense and are actually surprised at the lack of XD face. However, it is far from hyperbole. I have literally become Pinkie Pie overnight. I am trapped in a world of colorful cartoon horses. Without my thumbs, it takes forever to send you my message of this news. I am lost and far from home. There is no back to the three dimensional reality I once knew. I am trapped. Kafka laughs in his grave. The nightmare is real.