When I was little, I ran up to my dad and told him excitedly, “Mom said I was a lesbian!”

He looked startled.  “I don’t think she told you that,” he said slowly.

"Yes she did!  She said I was a lesbian!"

"No, I’m pretty sure she didn’t…"

I started getting mad.  “She did!  She said I was good at acting!”

"…That’s a thespian.  A thespian.”

"…Oh."

But in the end I just grew up to be a lesbian.